(dha) In a stunning diplomatic move that shocked the international community and several confused interpreters, U.S. President Donald Trump has revoked the diplomatic visa of United Nations General Assembly President Annalena Baerbock.
According to White House insiders, the decision followed “serious doubts” about Baerbock’s English skills. “Annalena is a very attractive woman — very, very attractive. Tremendous looks, believe me. I liked her red dress, the one she wore with that TV backpack thing at Times Square. Fantastic! But her English? Terrible. People are saying she’s the worst translator since Google,” Trump declared during a morning press conference.
Sources claim Baerbock had repeatedly confused common English expressions during UN sessions, once greeting delegates with, “Make yourselves a good figure!” and later describing a tense peace negotiation as “going totally bananas in the head.”
Baerbock: „I think I spider“
The situation escalated — or “escalatored” — when FBI technicians traced a malfunctioning escalator and a broken teleprompter at UN headquarters to Baerbock’s misunderstanding of maintenance warnings. “She thought ‘escalator broken’ was a code for the Middle East escalation,” said one investigator. “So she just nodded and smiled.”
When asked about the accusations and her revoked visa, Baerbock remained defiant. “I think I spider! That goes me totally on the nerves!” she told reporters in a New York bagel shop, before adding: “This is really not the butter of the bread!”
The State Department has since issued an official statement clarifying that Baerbock is “welcome to apply again once her English reaches B1 level or higher.”
